“Back to basics” may sound boring, but basics can be the most powerful place on which to focus. Our lives can feel incredibly complicated – so much so that, from time to time, we have lost sight of the dynamics that underlie the results that we wish to have.

Basics like: do your homework, take care of yourself, treat people well, take personal responsibility, keep your word.

I was recently inspired to focus more on my meditation practice because of a conversation with someone whom I learned actually taught meditation – which was very different than the profession where I had known him. His example of meditation as a “basic” taught me a lot.

What basics would benefit from your attention at this point in the year? If you could think of only one “basic” on which to focus, what would the most important “basic” be? What kind of result would you expect to receive from focusing on it? What can you learn from the example of others?

Writer Jay Abraham says, “Whatever area you work in, you do have clients and you do need to sell.”  This notion of  ”everyone sells something” can be translated into “Everyone influences others” because selling is a form of influencing and persuading.

What we have often objected to about selling is that it can include unfair or undue forms of influence or persuasion.  The stereotype of the “used car salesman” involves manipulation and psychological pressure – and, of course, we want to avoid that kind of behavior.

However, persuasion and influence can be performed ethically. Genie Laborde’s book, Influencing With Integrity, is a classic in sales communication and I recommend it highly:

http://www.amazon.com/Influencing-Integrity-Genie-Z-Laborde/dp/0933347103

How well are you at “influencing with integrity”?  Can you make the leap to seeing selling as influencing? What are the implications of this shift in perspective for you as both a seller and a buyer?

Potential ingredients for personal victory include:

- We have done our absolute best

- Actions are taken consistent with core values like truth, integrity and mutual respect

- No one wins unless everyone wins

- A clear conscience

- We did not shrink from difficulty

- The basis for everything is unconditional love.

How well do these criteria describe victory for you?  What else would you add?  What would you delete or change?  Are these elements directly applicable to your everyday life?

What are the best ways to respond to others when they do not keep their promises?  Clearly, responses like anger, resentment and recrimination are counterproductive.  What kinds of positive choices are available?

A basic first step is to appeal to the core values that may have been the foundation for the promise in the first place.  Appealing to basic values like fairness, integrity and truth may shift the result.

The desired degree of action about a broken promise is most often a function of its importance and impact.  At their most extreme, broken promises can result in significant emotional distress and other kinds of difficulty.  Yet, the principle of a broken promise can be deeply troublesome even if the issue is primarily one of keeping one’s word.

How have you wanted to be treated when you have broken promises in the past?  What are the extents to which you have gone to have others live up to their promises?  What are your limits and boundaries about broken promises?  Most importantly, what have you learned about promises and how to engage in productive promise-making that produces great results?

Each of us has made and subsequently broken promises to ourselves about all kinds of habits, behaviors and thoughts. Exercise, diet, relationships and money are among the key areas where we humans have promised to do or not to do something – and we have found ourselves making excuses and breaking our promises.

It’s been difficult for we humans to hold ourselves individually accountable to ourselves, so there have tended to be little to no consequence for broken promises beyond guilt and regret.

How good have you been at keeping promises you have made to yourself?  Have you made New Year’s resolutions?  How well have you kept them?  What can be done to improve your ability to keep your promises to yourself?

Oaths and vows are “bigger than life” promises.  Presumably, the consequences of breaking a vow or an oath are larger than that of breaking a “mere promise.”

Have you been able to make a distinction among agreeing, promising and vowing / making an oath?  What are the practical implications of vows and oaths?  Should we simply rely on giving our words and have that be enough – both in terms of what we do and in terms of what we expect?

What would you counsel a person coming of age in our culture about promising and the making of oaths and vows?  Are oaths and vows antiquated and outdated?

The word “promises” is a word that is more often used in our culture than “oath.” An oath is a powerful promise typically made in the presence of a Diety. Thus, an oath has the added consideration of the inclusion of a higher power as and when conceived by the person making the oath.

How do you regard promise-making? All humans have broken their promises from time to time because, up to the present moment, we have not been perfect. Are there any promises that you have made that rise to the level of being oaths? What key promises / oaths have you broken?

Do you make many promises, or do you shy away from them? Do you make oaths at all? If so, when?

Try to regard this topic with an open mind and no negative judgment toward yourself. The rewards are rich.